Pick your battles

As a mother I find myself in constant conflict. What are the issues that really matter and what are the ones that just aren't worth the battle(s)?

For example, the other day my son insisted on wearing his Spongebob Squarepants slippers when we went out to the store instead of his spiderman tennis shoes. I tried in vain to convince him that in fact Spiderman WAS the way to go, he persisted, kept saying Spongebob over and over. I was to the point of total exasperation when it occured to me that this WAS NOT really that important. So what, his feet were covered, he rode in the shopping cart, did not walk at all, he was happy and my shopping experience was more pleasant than it would have been if I had denied him the one thing that was important to him at that moment, Spongebob. Sure I got some funny looks at the grocery store, but as far as I am concerned it was a win win situation, he was pleasant and happy and I got to shop in relative peace.

This situation last week got me thinking about what is really important when raising your children to be responsible law abiding adults while allowing them to also be happy, healthy, well adjusted children. Looking back, I did not realize that I say NO so much. It is actually kind of scary, like I had a corner on the word or something. So I have resolved to stop and think things through before jsut automatically saying no.

Let's see........

staying up a few minutes late

wearing the blue shoes instead of the brown ones

wearing her hair up in a ponytail or down

eating every scrap on her plate or letting her leave some behind

staying outside for a few extra minutes

taking a bath or not (unless they REALLY stink)

Cars pull up or Spiderman or Toy Story

etc, etc, etc

These things are okay and really not worth the battle and allows my children to make some decisions.

Riding bike without a helmet

peeing in the bath tub

not buckling up in the car

not doing homework

not being respectful

not obeying

not doing well in school

being rude

hitting another person

etc, etc, etc......

These things are NOT OKAY and are never tolerated by me........

I am just saying pick your battles, really, it is Okay! To me spending a few extra minutes at night reading with my children (even after it is lights out and they should be asleep), is probably better and more enjoyable for all involved then the fighting and the bickering and the few extra minutes of sleep.

When are children old enough

At what age do we start giving our children more responsibilities? What can they handle and when? My daughter just turned 7. I feel like she should be able to do more for herself. She is old enough to participate in her care. Simple things like putting shoes on the right feet (UGH), or on the mornings that she wakes up before me, starting her morning routine (brush teeth, go to the bathroom, etc), why do these activities have to wait until I am up and moving around?

I have been thinking.....

When will she be old enough to brush her teeth properly, pick out her own clothes for school, brush her hair, etc, pretty much get herself ready without me running behind like a drill sargeant trying to get her out of here on time. I am always telling her you are 7 years old, you are old enough to do this or that on your own, mommy will not always be here.......